tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post335628363267390757..comments2023-09-10T08:35:17.240-04:00Comments on Statistically Impossible: State Birth Father Registries: Call and ResponseI amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-18097506556996872442010-08-26T10:31:30.179-04:002010-08-26T10:31:30.179-04:00Laura and Davin - I didn't know squat about ad...Laura and Davin - I didn't know squat about adoption before getting involved first hand. I count myself extremely fortunate that it's only been in the last year that I've encountered direct aggression related to the adoption decision Athena and I made. I had known the presence of birth fathers in open adoptions was rare, but I didn't know why. We all educate ourselves as best we can. It is unfortunate that people like Mardie Caldwell use our ignorance to obfuscate their goals and push forward their agendas.I amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-61061579981393122402010-08-25T16:53:09.386-04:002010-08-25T16:53:09.386-04:00I was directed to this post by a friend. My husban...I was directed to this post by a friend. My husband and I just adopted our son two months ago. I am attempting to (my writing skills do not come close to matching yours) blog our entire journey. In my most recent post I vaguely outlined our criteria in choosing an agency. I am ashamed to say that we didn't even take birth father's rights into consideration three years ago when we started. We knew nothing about adoption when we started, so our knowledge has only grown each step of the way. We have our child and are still learning. I commend you for this post. Had I seen this three years ago, this agency would have been thrown out of our possible picks. (As it turns out, we threw them out early on because of other reasons- I am NOT a fan of Lifetime)Laura and Davinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08094007941959812588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-61823778600797579942010-08-21T23:59:05.030-04:002010-08-21T23:59:05.030-04:00"These children need to grow up with parents ..."These children need to grow up with parents that love them, committed to giving them the opportunities to be all they can be in life." I can't think of a better description of a first family. "<br /><br />This nearly brought tears to my eyes. I agree more deeply than I can say.SustainableFamilieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08820607553556177222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-18300934243113452692010-08-21T23:58:06.888-04:002010-08-21T23:58:06.888-04:00"Lack of time, money, energy, health, relatio..."Lack of time, money, energy, health, relational/emotional support are all forms of poverty that can play heavily into adoption decisions."<br /><br />WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A first father who cares about poverty and class issues in adoption!!!!! I know there MUST be more of you, but damn this is awesome!SustainableFamilieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08820607553556177222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-25866454354646205362010-08-11T23:41:31.825-04:002010-08-11T23:41:31.825-04:00I think it shows up the weakness of the stereotypi...I think it shows up the weakness of the stereotyping and generalizations that occur throughout adoption. Every person is different and has a unique situation. Trying to paint all people in a certain category (e.g. birth fathers) as the same is just pointless and ends up simply propagating the worst that is ever found.Ellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18103745692859729289noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-19536127953574719162010-08-09T22:07:51.714-04:002010-08-09T22:07:51.714-04:00Hey, sorry I never got to respond before. I did re...Hey, sorry I never got to respond before. I did read the article and the whole thing is abhorrent! She has insane thoughts and I can't believe she actually thought this was a good article to publish. While I am sure there are birthfathers out there that are what she portrayed it's rediculous of her to say most are. Where in the hell is she getting her facts. Just from my research and reading that is simply not the case. I hate that there are plainly ignorant people in the adoption world. I also second LeMira, very articulate!! You rock!Meg and Kenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08389282509165129192noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-20149537273438391782010-08-09T17:49:59.614-04:002010-08-09T17:49:59.614-04:00LeMira - Thanks. I'm not very good at receivin...LeMira - Thanks. I'm not very good at receiving compliments, so to keep my foot out of my mouth I'll leave it there. Thanks.I amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-72524305676822143472010-08-09T17:49:04.908-04:002010-08-09T17:49:04.908-04:00Sandy - All I can say is "wow!" That art...Sandy - All I can say is "wow!" That article is eye opening and profoundly disturbing. I may have some digging to do in that arena. As always your perspective is invaluable.I amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-63361841050507047452010-08-09T17:46:06.631-04:002010-08-09T17:46:06.631-04:00Anonymous - Agreed. It seems Mardie spent all her ...Anonymous - Agreed. It seems Mardie spent all her energy creating a detailed idea of how awful first families are instead of developing her proposed "solution." Thanks for taking the time to read all that and thanks more for sharing your thoughts. I hope everyone will get the chance to read more of your perspective in the future.I amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-83648584460328263112010-08-09T15:15:35.753-04:002010-08-09T15:15:35.753-04:00You said everything I was thinking when I read the...You said everything I was thinking when I read the article, but you are more articulate than I am, so you said it better.LeMirahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02196699524583350846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-55886938313874573742010-08-08T10:36:58.220-04:002010-08-08T10:36:58.220-04:00Sadly she is one of many in adoption with this vie...Sadly she is one of many in adoption with this view. Birth father registries are simply loop holes created to do no good. Perhaps a national birth father registry that everyone and their dog knew about with much less restrictive timelines and second chances might work but at state level they are simply loop holes for adoption agencies etc to use to get the father out of the picture.<br /><br />Recent new article link below clearly outlines they must be done away with and why and how despicable they can be. <br /><br />People should be sending letters to their state reps outlining how abhorent they are and how no one should sink to this level to get a baby.<br /><br />http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/article-11795-some-call-it-kidnapping.html?current_page=allSandynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-63086975090386772572010-08-08T06:59:58.442-04:002010-08-08T06:59:58.442-04:00Concur that it's a character assassination. I...Concur that it's a character assassination. It took me quite a while to find the small 'solution' part in that screed of hers. It reflected to me the relative importance to her of the proposed solution. She also leaves registries very vague - not a lot of detail on how they should be implemented or what checks/balances should exist.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com