tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post2790498074735882306..comments2023-09-10T08:35:17.240-04:00Comments on Statistically Impossible: Open Adoption Roundtable Discussion #28: Questions from a Closed-Era AdopteeI amhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-78288394591158160182011-07-25T11:46:46.838-04:002011-07-25T11:46:46.838-04:00Thanks for the support and comments everyone. Just...Thanks for the support and comments everyone. Just a quick response as chittisterchildren hit upon something:<br /><br />"It's sad in the first place that many birth fathers choose not to be involved. But it's awful the way birth fathers are treated when they do want to be involved."<br /><br />It's important to remember that these are not unrelated.<br /><br />As for the statistics mentioned I'll have to do a little digging again to find it. I'm fairly sure that it was in Gritter's "Spirit of Open Adoption", but to be honest I've read enough adoption books there are about 12 strong contenders and two dozen other possible sources. I'll try, but I cannot promise results.I amhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13182867182942654599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-24253145390389566842011-07-24T23:44:12.923-04:002011-07-24T23:44:12.923-04:00"Actually, there are fewer occurrences of con..."Actually, there are fewer occurrences of contested custody and reversed decisions among those participating in open adoptions than closed ones."<br />Do you have a source for that? I'm not asking to be antagonistic. I like stats and information like that.<br /><br />I've only seen one other birth father blog, Baby Darling. It's sad in the first place that many birth fathers choose not to be involved. But it's awful the way birth fathers are treated when they do want to be involved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-9909581973981335732011-07-22T11:10:14.481-04:002011-07-22T11:10:14.481-04:00I've been enjoying reading the answers to thes...I've been enjoying reading the answers to these, though I haven't chimed in myself. I especially like the replies to the Q about what would stop a birth parent from just coming over. respect, boundaries, trust, relationships -- as with any other person in your life.<br /><br />it really bothers me when a committed and engaged birth father is dissuaded from participating in support activities, for the reasons you mention. there was a local support group here that held a retreat for birth "parents" but it was all birth mothers except for one, a birth father who had a very active relationship with his daughter AND her birth mom, even though they were no longer together. despite that he was her biggest source of support, he was made to feel very unwelcome and challenged mainly by the professionals involved. this was so unlike our open adoption support groups, where birth dads who show up are literally applauded. argh.lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-46048510351282672612011-07-21T16:03:04.093-04:002011-07-21T16:03:04.093-04:00I reallly like your answer to #6.
And your answer...I reallly like your answer to #6.<br /><br />And your answer to #11, about the dearth of support for birth fathers, made me cringe.<br /><br />Thanks, I am. Enjoyed reading your responses.Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-56690932044002236272011-07-20T21:27:10.178-04:002011-07-20T21:27:10.178-04:00It really sucks that birthfathers don't get th...It really sucks that birthfathers don't get the same kind of support that birthmoms can experience.<br />To tell you the truth. I stopped attending a support group because of this negative attitude that the other girls had towards men.<br />I did not share their opinions.<br />Although, unfortunately, it's really hard for a man to look very good in the light of adoption.<br />Not impossible, at least I hope not.Cindynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9171749502502490378.post-36997359499010266562011-07-20T18:25:27.324-04:002011-07-20T18:25:27.324-04:00I think it's sad that men are are not treated ...I think it's sad that men are are not treated fairly when it comes to adoption and many other general issues in life.birthmothertalkshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17690158739622745922noreply@blogger.com